Harry Potter: Juubi Extraordinaire
by Azure Gryphon
Summary: A seal bound his chakra, insanity bound his mind. With the return of his sanity, what trap could a demonic fox with all the cunning of a snake and boldness of a lion not escape from? He just needed to have a little patience. And then a bit more as he grew up again... Perhaps he should have thought this out a bit more. Warnings: A little gore- these are ninja after all. SasuSaku
1. Chapter 1: Plans for Escape

**Harry Potter: Juubi Extraordinaire  
**Chapter One: Plans for Escape

9/29/12

Wires crossed overhead in the dark chamber. Pipes of many sizes tangled throughout the labyrinth containing the chamber but curled away before entering the barred entrance. Only the glowing strands continued through the darkness. These wires bound some of his power, he acknowledged. He could not break them, could not weaken them, could not twist or even stretch them. But he could manipulate them to a degree. He could use them as a means of gaining information and he almost wondered if his host had any idea the true value of the chakra of a demon.

He snorted. Of course the boy did not. If the boy had any idea the demon knew where the other ends of the bonds were at any time, knew their health and could even see through their eyes and hear through their ears… Well, at the very least he would have caught the Uchiha much sooner. And his abilities did not end there. The bonds and the nature of his demonic chakra would give him a path to freedom from the seal that trapped him within the blonde human.

All that was required of him was his sanity so he could finally find the loophole in the seal. The seal was to bind a demon. It would give his host the ability to draw upon and survive some of his power. It also kept the mentally-corrupting nature of his chakra in check so it could not harm his host or allow him to do the boy ill. And yet, this seal was made by flawed humans and powered by Death.

He was the Master of Death. It had taken him years to understand what this meant, but he knew now. It was what kept even the deadly shinobi, those masterful assassins, from slaying him and the lesser demons made from him. Death could not take him so long as there was the slightest desire to live in him. Death could not truly bind him against his will. So the Shinigami did not prevent him from affecting those around his host, though parts of the seal implied that it should. The seal had been incomplete.

Harry knew that perhaps better than almost anyone. It had been his idea and he had been present for its making at every step. He had even tried to use it. The suicide fuuinjutsu that pulled the targets soul from its container and bound it to the caster and both would then be sent directly to the afterlife. It had been significantly changed since his time though. Now it was meant to bind him (or his lesser selves) into containers, the strongest versions demanding a willing human's life sacrifice and weaker seals demanding less. His, the first version, had been made by a society at its beginning explorations into dimensional pockets and other-space. His had needed more than one life sacrifice. Far more and it needn't be willing either. The brutal magik, darker than any seen since the sinking of Atlantis, required the deaths of one hundred sentient beings. They would be ripped from their bodies, have their identity and personalities stripped from them then the spell would tear into the soul itself to find the root of their magic and sever it. The loss of the body could not prevent them from feeling the agony of having something that had been an offshoot of their very souls cut away. Only the presence of the Shinigami, ready to gather up the lost souls, would prevent them from being utterly destroyed and allow them to survive to go on to the next plain.


	2. Chapter 2: The Making of a Monster

**Harry Potter: Juubi Extraordinaire**  
Chapter Two: Making of the Juubi

9/29/12 and 9/30/12.

The Order of the Phoenix had been desperate. The muggles knew about magic. Voldemort was growing more powerful, both personally and in the forces he commanded. They were beyond petty concerns for their own lives; they were fighting for the right for magic to even exist. The muggles had made it very clear- if wizards did not stop Voldemort then the muggles would stop wizards. Forever. They would gather their weapons and utterly destroy every human, plant, animal and relic bearing even traces of magic.

It had not seemed so bleak when their leader had been alive. Albus Dumbledore was, even in his old age, one of the most powerful wizards in the world. Witches, wizards and creatures had flocked to his banner and for a time stood equal to Voldemort. It had been then that calamity struck. A muggle had killed Dumbledore. A simple, insignificant muggle. The wizard that fought for the freedom, the right for life of all living beings, had been murdered by one he fought to save. In an instant the man's hard work for muggle rights had been shattered. The Dark had laughed. Their greatest enemy was dead! And the Light fell apart. Their center and guiding light had been destroyed. New leaders sprang up and fought among themselves and the fight between Light and Dark spilled over onto the muggles _en mass_. There was no longer a Ministry, it had been taken over by the Dark some time ago and the light had been directing their forces to obliviate the muggles. Now the necessity of obliviation was neglected. The muggles remembered war, torture, and fear. They cried out to their leaders and their leaders stirred them to anger. The wizards were given the ultimatum- bring peace to yourselves… Or we will-permanently. They had one year.

In a show of force, to prove that the muggles had the means to do as they claimed, they obliterated Hogwarts. It had been relatively bloodless, the muggles had not been ready to start a full out war with magic yet so they struck in summer. Loss of life was minimal. Yet the fear inflicted had been tremendous. Hogwarts had been leveled in moments by flight of jets. Centuries of wards of all sorts from ones to prevent damage to ones meant to confuse muggles and direct them away overcome by computers and sheer overwhelming force. The Muggles didn't need to know exactly were they were as they flew by, they just had to fire when prompted and in moments they were outside the wards and could turn back to inflict more of the same.

Centuries of magic made utterly worthless. The wizarding world terrified and Voldemort became their hope. The Devil became their friend, their guardian wolf for the price of their eternal servitude, they and all their descendants pledged to the Dark Lord. The light's morale was so devastated by the muggles' turning that even with the Dark now distracted with the muggles they could do little harm. Their numbers once thousands, now contained less than fifty members. Their center was the staff of Hogwarts, the remnants of the old Order and the boldest of Harry Potter's DA. This collection of students, civilians, and a handful of police were all that stood before the Dark. The situation was nearly hopeless. Only the handfuls of pages that survived Dumbledore's personal Grimoire and a few words from his portrait before the bombing gave them a ghost of a chance. Binding rituals and soul magiks- some of the most twisted imaginings of necromancers and a fledgling new runes system. These and a few brilliant minds were what the future of the world hinged upon.

They had lured Voldemort himself to the field of battle and Harry stood to counter him and draw him to the center of the prepared rune circle. Harry had to save his magic as much as he could, the seal itself would be only to beginning of his fight- he would have to carry the sheer magical cost of the spell himself, would be the source of the magic that would do such unspeakable things to his fellows and his enemies. And in the midst of this he had to utterly dominate Voldemort's will or the spell might fail and leave him alive with no one to contest his tyranny and plans for near global genocide. He was glad the spell was made to run on inscribed instructions. Voldemort was not someone who could be fought with anything but full focus. There was the signal! The Spell was begun!

He waited a moment too late and a brutal severing spell took off a leg. A massive splash of blood left his body as he collapsed. It arced into the air and splattered on to inscribed runes surrounding Harry triggering his personal part of the spell. It was a rough bastardization of the Animagus spell, meant originally to reveal the human soul's animal approximation in a mental visualization. In its altered state and combined with the soul thief spell it acted directly on the soul, tearing it from its housing and forcing a nearly physical form on a thing never meant to exist so fully in this plain.

Clumsy hand signs and a burst of magic brought Voldemort's focus back to Harry from his quick inspection of the glowing circles. He laughed, "You mean to show me how to become an Animagus, Potter?" His laughter was rudely interrupted by a hand thrust into his chest. He gagged and spluttered blood onto the ground as he slumped over the suddenly visible presence forcing its way past his ribs and organs. "What!" he gasped, blood flecking his white lips and chin. "Potter! What..." he snarled as he fought to get away.

Harry forced a bold laugh of his own. "I know better than trying to just kill you, Voldemort! I'm going after your soul!"

"Fool!" Voldemort claimed as he fell backwards. "I will not miss this little piece of my soul even if you do manage to destroy it!" He twisted as he fell, catching himself and returning to his feet, bleeding heavily. Even for the inhumanly tough body that he wore, having something thrust through your chest and go after your heart is not a flesh wound. He cackled. "You missed Potter!"

"Look again, Voldemort!" Harry panted. He hoped the next part of the spell would trigger before he bled out. He didn't dare was magic to seal the wound, he'd every bit he had to survive the next part. He screamed as another hand shattered his ribs and yanked at his core. He choked blood, as he trashed as the hand reached far deeper within him than just his body. His scream grew louder as it caught and yanked again. The pain ended abruptly, just in time for him to hear Voldemort's high, thin screech of agony. He found himself on his feet, facing Voldemort. A long arm reached over his shoulder as it removed Voldemort from his body. He could still feel the utter violation as the other hand clung to his own soul.

Even as Voldemort tried to wrench himself free, shooting stars appeared from all directions and plunged into his tattered silvery form. The silvery shape grew brighter, more solid, healing the man's soul from his own deliberate mutilations. "What is this Potter? What have you done!" Voldemort was actually frightened! Imagine that! Harry huffed in malicious amusement.

"I told you, Voldemort, I'm going after your soul. In its entirety. Can't have you coming back after I kill us, after all." Harry felt his lips twist into a cruel shape. How strange that he still had such clear perceptions of muscles moving when he really had none… He hissed in pain as the hand on his spine twisted slightly. "Are you ready for the next part, Voldemort? This is going to hurt." He stared grimly across at the mad man. "Are you ready to die, Tom?"

He could see Voldemort start to retort and then the hand spasmed against his back and he collapsed in on himself in agony. Dimly a part of his mind registered Voldemort's agonized cries as well and even in his suffering he felt a righteous joy that soon his enemy would be no more. He twisted and writhed as his soul was molded by the hand and his own magic, turned against him. A time later, somewhere between a moment and an eternity he rose again. Now he had no feet and he took a moment to examine himself as Voldemort's horse bellows of pain continued. He was a snake like creature and with a snap he unfurled two rainbow adorned wings and felt his crest rise as his new form recognized the threat that for now was too distracted to attack. He could distantly feel instincts trying to surface and he stared down at his body which now mirrored his serpentine soul. Deep blue and gold scales, so dark as to be almost black covered his nearly dead body, multi-hued wings stretched out behind leaving feathers bent and broken on the blood covered rock. He shifted again. It was nearly time to strike, he rose up, wings flared for flight. He could feel magic rising up all around him. Both from his friends and enemies it was being drained and gathered for his use in this fight. He summoned images of his companions, using each to generate emotion with in him. Joy, happiness, sorrow, grief, despair, hope. He distilled the feelings within himself. These were the only weapons that could be used against Voldemort now.

He could see again, the animalistic form of Voldemort's soul directly before him. It stood on four legs, tremors running through them before they strengthened, claws emerging as it tensed. His enemy lifted his head slowly, disoriented by his drastic change in shape. A shaggy mane, white and grey like crumbling bones framed a cattish face drawn into a fearsome snarl, red eyes narrowed with hate and pain.

Harry took a moment to appreciate the distinctly ironic forms fate had chosen for them. _He_ was a snake and _Voldemort_! _Voldemort was a _lion_! _He let hiss of laughter escape him and struck, burying fangs deeply into the lion's belly. Voldemort flailed, swiping at Harry's face with his fore-paws and raking at his throat with the hind. The claws found no purchase against the thick scales while Harry flexed his jaws almost as if chewing as he released venom made of his most intense emotions into Voldemort's soul. He released and withdrew slightly then aimed at the thigh muscles of a hind leg and struck again and again. Lighting fast strikes against his enemy whose confused attempts at defense were utterly infective served to weaken his lifelong enemy, hopefully enough to prevent him from taking control of the magic around them as it gathered. It was almost enough. Soon Voldemort would be bound to his soul and would not escape death again. Just a little longer. A lucky hit tore through part of his cheek and he swore at he wacked Voldemort over the head with a wing. He wouldn't be able to bite well when his mouth hurt this much.

Harry reached out into the magic as Voldemort started to rise again, shaking his head to shake off the blow. It was ready! He snapped at his own body below him, drawing fresh blood which spilled onto the runes. A flash of brilliant light and he struck at Voldemort, this time not for his quick bite and release method. He coiled tightly around his enemy, securing the thrashing form as well as he could while trying to get a grip on the lion's throat. He had to take a moment to rip out as much fur as he could, drawing a roar from his enemy as he spat it aside and this time struck true. He buried his fangs deeply into the neck and began pumping venom directly into the veins. The magic from all of his companions fed the feelings of their last moments into him and from him into their enemy. But the magic was also feeding the Death Eater's last moments into Voldemort! Voldemort freed a paw and this time it found Harry's throat, slipping past armored scales by drawing upwards. Harry constricted Voldemort tightly, ignoring the pain, blocking off everything but the need to hold fast. Only the feeling of the utter violation of his soul brought him back to the surface as Death's hands started to force their two souls together. He hissed in disgust as he began to feel Voldemort's emotions, the undercurrent of his befouled thoughts drawing closer. It hurt like acid as they were forced into each other- a corrupting slime in his lungs, a burning liquid pumped into his bones, shards of glass in his skin and throat. Voldemort's hatred and magic cutting into his own thoughts, into the emotions he drew his venom from.

Another flash of the runes and they were no longer two but many. The rush of fear, anger, desperation, hatred from many minds crippled their unified form and their linked minds collapsed under the pressure into darkness. Harry's last thought was a hope that the muggles had better stand by their agreement before death's cold hands drew him away from the light.

_Unrevised and Unbeta'ed; anyone want to beta?_

_An idea that I've been sitting on for a very long time. (The logo is about two years old by now and I came up with the basic ideas for the story at least half a year before that...) I really don't have an end in mind yet which can be disastrous for a writer, but I wanted to get it out regardless._


	3. Chapter 3: The Miracle of Life

**Harry Potter: Juubi Extraordinaire**  
Chapter Three: Miracle of Life

10/12/12

Harry is not really sure when he regained his sanity. There is no way to measure time here. There are no lighter or darker times that he can detect. He is not a prisoner that needs meals so there is no way to guess intervals from that. There are times when the seal becomes weaker and when his chakra and tainted magic is called on by the boy. He wonders sometimes how the child could do something that even the most powerful dark wizards could not do. Forcing someone else's magic to obey takes enormous will… Unless they have made an agreement with the owner and yet he cannot recall any time when he might have done so.

He does not have a way to measure time but he can tell that a very long time has passed. He remembers brief flashes of moments outside this seal but after he was bound to Voldemort. While he usually remembers them in order of clarity first, he had managed to find some amount of chronology in them. He used to be much smaller and as time passed he had grown. Once he had been only around the size of the lion shape he had been merged with. Now, according to the most recent and clear memory he possesses from before being sealed, he was enormous, taller than a ten story building.

Here, within the seal, he can see through others' eyes occasionally, yet somehow he cannot understand printed dates, nor their clocks and the verbal exchanges confuse him. He had realized that the boy had a strange accent but had only recently realized that the seal was the only thing that allowed them to communicate. He could see others becoming older, stronger but he had never been good at estimating ages.

He also had very little to do. He could sleep, he could throw a fit, he could count water droplets, he could stare at the bars of his cage in hopes that his sheer will would bend them, or he could stare at the changing rays of light that bent and wove around each other. So stare at the pretty light is what he did. It took a while but he realized that the light was somehow connected to the people whose eyes he was borrowing. Soon after that, in one of those rare moments of intuition he had had as a child, he realized that those rays represented the boy's companions. In fact any that the boy had an emotional understanding of, had met and interacted with, he had bonded with. It was rather shocking to Harry how quickly the boy connected to others, and how strongly. With time, Harry discovered that he could travel on the bonds those beams represented. As the boy's companions traveled farther from the physical seal the more the seal's hold on him weakened. He had hoped that simply staying with some of the boy's farthest traveling companions that he could escape through them, but it seemed they either did not travel far enough or perhaps the seal was too strong for mere distance to be enough.

And yet not all hope was lost. Much to his shock, embarrassment, and utter disbelief he realized the bond revealed the life stories of the boy's friends and allies. When they grew closer to someone, their ray of light would grow closer within the seal to the other person's twining around them as they grew closer or starting to separate as they grew more distant. Mere thought affected their representations. As they thought more of others and were thought more of in return their bond would grow closer even if they were hundreds of miles apart. Details were revealed to him as he studied the bonds. He learned he could tell when they were emotionally close or physically close. He could tell how they were feeling and he could actually see the resonance that the bond had when interacting changed. He even see when they were enjoying physical intimacy. The rays of light would converge for some time so they looked like one brighter than average ray. They often stayed emotionally close for long periods afterwards, indicating a more than casual relationship.

Harry had been studying some of the boy's lesser bonds when he had seen this for the first time. HE could not imagine what could turn two people into one and had sent his awareness to investigate. What he had happened upon had been utterly shocking for his poor virginal mind. And he couldn't escape either, he had tried desperately to pull away the very moment he had realized what he was seeing, but he had been trapped until the bond separated. Those two had been the first of the boy's allies whose names had had learned. He did not think he would ever forget Kurenai or her lover Asuma.

He had kept a cautious eye on their rays for a long time after that and had seen how close they were. However, after one coupling he had felt something odd in their bond with each other. Just after their bond became two again something almost like a pull occurred. Something that felt just a tiny bit like gravity, maybe. Gravity towards a bond? Ridiculous. It was weak, tiny, not enough to interfere with the bond, only just enough to register, and yet this was one of the first physical sensations he had felt within the seal. He watched their rays of light like a hawk and saw Kurenai's pull away from Asama's a tiny bit. A mote of light feebly glimmered between them and slowly became a ray of its own, tightly wrapped around Kurenai's and hers around it. His mouth had dropped in shock. He had just seen the creation of life, a new soul come to be. (His mind ignored that fact that he had been watching the emotional components of sex and that this was a meeting between sex cells. That would be traumatizing and he subconsciously suppressed the thought before he could rationally consider it.) And he had felt a pull towards it before it had ever existed, had felt the slight weakness in the seal itself.

This had given him his new hope to escape. Perhaps he could become a child to one of the boy's bonded. He had watched the paired rays of light closely after that and once or twice he had felt a pull in the fainter bonds. (It appeared the boy's closer companions had not wanted a child yet.) He had tentatively allowed some of his chakra to follow the pulls and jerked himself back each time, even though his chakra could escape, it felt like falling into some empty void and it scared him. He could see his influence though when the pull became a life. The two that he had sent chakra towards felt a bit like him and their rays had shone brighter to him than any but the boy's closest bonded friends.

He soon became aware of something he had overlooked when watching the dimmer bonds so closely. Two of the boy's closest companions had started to twine around each other. He knew these bonds belonged to the odd red-eyed boy and the girl who dyed her hair and hurt his boy frequently, especially when they had been young. They twined very slowly and he speculated that this was because the boy had hurt both his boy and the girl. This was the boy that left for a Voldemort impersonator. He frowned mentally, these two were his best bet for escaping, but he was rather prejudiced against them. He'd decide when it became an issue rather than just a possibility.

He returned to the two young bright souls. He could feel as the new souls suffered under his tainted energy and he regretted their pain. They became strong though and he could feel them more than any other without looking though their eyes. He knew when they first starting hearing, when they first started to respond to voices. They started to respond to him around the same time. When he turned his attention to them he could feel their awareness of him. The pair of unformed, delicate minds knew him and soon began responding to him with happiness much the way they responded to their parents' voices. He was awed and humbled. These two children that he had hurt loved him. He was thrilled and had watched over them to the exclusion of everything else for some time. He had known the moment of their births, had calmed their fear and panic as well has he could. He felt as they were unbound slightly from their mothers. And as he pressed into their awareness the way he had with others Harry had realized he was not just seeing and hearing what they were but that he could feel and smell (and taste, to his mortification, he learned to look away very quickly when the children became hungry). They were aware of his presence in his minds, as vague as their awareness was. They grew more aware as time went on, and he realized he could hear their thoughts as though they were speaking to him. He grew aware of the fact that he was more discontent within the seal than he had ever been before. He wanted to be out there, with his children. He wanted to be more than just their imaginary friend, the little voice in their minds. He came to a decision. He would take the risk, the very next pair that he thought he could put his full awareness into the pull, that he thought would be strong enough the escape the seal he would.

He would also leave his boy with most of his chakra to keep for him. He had seen what happened to the other boy when his chakra had been pulled from him- it had killed him. Thanks to the dyed girl he had seen when his boy had offered the aged woman his chakra and had responded with an upwelling of his own chakra and magic to help heal this boy who had suffered under his chakra and had died without it. Another part of his reasoning had been how the children had suffered under just a tiny fraction of his power. It may have helped them grow strong but it had hurt them very badly at first. There had been many times just after their forming when their fragile lights had dimmed and flickered feebly and he had held his breath praying that he hadn't just killed them. It had been a great relief each time when they stabilized. He didn't know what he would have done if he knew he had just killed someone so innocent. (He didn't know what actually he could have done, either, but that hardly mattered.)

He was resolved. When the pull came from between the red-eyed young man and pink-haired young woman, he leapt towards it and let the void pull him in.

~"*"~

_Enjoy these six pages and let me know what you think! There is a poll on my profile about updating. Tell me what you are interesting in reading. I will take it into account when deciding which story to work on._

_Anyone interested in Betaing? – Azure Gryphon_


	4. First Contact

11/7/12, 12/28/12

Juubi Extraordinaire Chapter Four

It took Harry some time to become aware of himself again. When he finally did he tried to figure out how far along his new body was. Harry didn't know much about pregnancy or sex for that matter considering: one, he'd left for Hogwarts before the age that standardized British education required teachers to teach their students about the topic and two, all of his mother and father figures were rather distant from him and it had never occurred to them that he might not have been told some of the basics of life. He was able to determine the impact of his new form on his … He supposed she'd be his mother. He blinked. He had been so eager to get free he hadn't really realized that he'd become a son to two of his personal least favorite people. Maybe they'd redeem themselves in person. Maybe.

His impact on his mother was very slight at this point. From what he could determine with the miniscule amount of magic he dared use, fragile as his new body was, her physical shape hadn't changed yet. From what little he did know about pregnancy he guessed his body was somewhere less than three months old then. His mother seemed completely unaware of him at this point. She would not stop drinking! Even he knew that alcohol wasn't good for kids- and she was a medic, a field medic sure, so her focus wasn't on children, but still. The chakra his new body was making was just barely enough to keep her from poisoning him. Thus his guess was that he was an accident. He wondered if when they discovered him, well… Would they kill him? They were ninja, they had an active lifestyle which he would cramp like, like… Well, he would cramp their lifestyles like only a baby could.

He was going to have to put his hopes on the red-eyed bastard. (He would use his boy's term to refer to his new father until such times as the angsty brat redeemed himself to Harry. After everything he put Harry's boy through… Grrr.) Wasn't one of his standing goals to rebuild his clan? He hoped that that would be enough to stay his new mother's hand. He knew after watching how she treated the less popular or less fortunate people that she was not particularly a decent person. Her lack of decency led her to physically and verbally abuse the very people she had to depend upon for her life, and when Harry's boy had saved her she hadn't apologized to him. Ever, and it had been years and many more life debts to boot.

While on one part he considered himself lucky as he had never had to undergo the much dreaded Talk, on the other part of his basic lack of knowledge was based on the fact that he'd never had any practical experience either. This bugged him, he was a teenaged boy, but he hadn't wanted to put one of his friends at risk by making them more than a friend. However, his education on the practical side of baby-making had been fixed. There were reasons he'd never be able to forget Asuma and Kurenai, not least because they had been very through in their act.

His new body was extremely limited in its senses, basically he could feel that he was warm, occasionally jostled and rather wet. His lack of ablity to do anything grated on his nerves like nothing else. Even in the cage he had other things he could do besides sleep. Not only was he unable to do anything but sleep but he was aware of being asleep and this, in part, led him to a reassuring discovery. He discovered he could be aware of both his forms at once, this new child body and the monstrous fox trapped in his boy's gut. The other part to be thanked was the boy himself. He had come to visit the fox, on what was apparently a semi-regular trip and had started throwing a fit when the Kyuubi had apparently been ignoring him. Harry had actually woken up to find the sunshine-haired brat standing on his cheek and shouting obscenities in his ear. He had been so started by the sheer volume that he'd jumped, all ten stories of him, and Naruto had been misplaced in the chaos caused by a very fluffy, multi-tailed, ten story tall fox jumping. And, quite frankly, that was a lot of chaos. It usually took him an hour after being startled just to unknot his tails and longer still to get his fur to lay flat. And considering his size and Naruto's size relative to him… Well, the brat was shorter than most of his hair.

Sometime later he found that the unconscious brat (and what exactly happened when one was unconscious when already unconscious so they could take a trip to a place that by and large existed as a figment of his own imagination and partly Harry's too?) had become entangled in the fur of one of his tails, which itself was entangled in other tails. This meant he had a lot of untangling to do to get the brat free. He guessed that this alone was the reason the Sage had made a point of giving him thumbs. Untangling things like his tails would be extraordinarily difficult without them.

Sometime during his contemplation on thumbs, Naruto had woken up and realizing his extreme vulnerability to squashing had intelligently chosen to remain quiet. But even as an adult he really had no patience and had spoken up, "Furball! Let me go!"

Harry twitched as he was brought back to the present. He blinked down at the tiny human. He made a thinking face at the brat who was then utterly baffled, Harry could just tell. This was the most entertaining thing he had done in years… Maybe he could drag out the brat's company.

"Midget," he began, "I'll make a deal with you. I'll get you loose and you help me finish untangling and soothing out my fur." He raised a questioning eyebrow as he finished.

The brat gaped unattractively at him.

"Flies, brat, flies."

Naruto shut his mouth with a snap and then retorted, "Since when do you make deals?"

"Since I regained my sanity and made plans to get out of this seal."

"You can get out!?" Naruto's sheer volume rankled, but Harry figured it would be cruel to ask him to be quite right now. He had, after all, just told him that the most powerful demon in the land was making his escape.

"I am out. Partly anyway."

"Huh?" The blond stopped fighting with Harry's fur to stare at him in appalled confusion.

"Yes or no first, then I'll tell you a bit more if you stick around."

Naruto scowled. "Fine," he grunted from behind gritted teeth. "I'll help."

"Excellent," Harry enthused, bending over to comb his tail fur with his teeth.

"Hey, hey, hey! What do you think you're doing? Are you trying to eat me!?"

Harry paused in his combing. "Naruto, do you see a hair brush? A comb? No? Without those I have to use my teeth to take care of all this fur."

"Why aren't you using your hands?" Naruto continued struggling.

Harry flattened his ears in dismay. "You startled me so badly by yelling in my ear when I woke that I managed to tangle my self up very badly. Right now the fur of my left arm is tangled with my third and fifth tail while my right arm is tangled with the fur along my back." He grumbled dismally. "I really do need your help getting untangled. Now let me get you loose so you can start helping." With that he managed to catch Naruto in his teeth, ignoring the frantic wiggling and shouting, and tugged him free along with a collection of scarlet fur. "Ouch," he hissed after spitting out the blond and fur collection.

"Now, if you could get several shadow clone detangling teams together I'll tell you almost anything you want."

"Poof!' Bursts of smoke dissipated surprisingly quickly considering the lack of air movement in the seal to reveal eight Narutos in a team with a ninth henged as either a giant hairbrush or comb. Harry relaxed as best as he could under the sudden onslaught of fur pulling and running feet. Soon enough the fur pulling stopped as Naruto managed to finish detangling and started grooming him properly. Harry couldn't stop the delighted purr from escaping him. He couldn't ever remember feeling so good. The slight pulling of his fur and the moving feet felt a bit like a massage and it was so very nice. Soo veryy niice. He started to doze.

"Fuzzy! Wake up or I'll start adding ribbons!"

Harry blinked blearily at the brightly colored human. "You can do whatever you wan so long as you keep up the brushing." It wasn't quite slurred, the magic that enabled him to speak as an animal didn't allow for that, but the tone gave no doubts to the contentedly dozing mental state of the giant fox.

"Smack!" Harry woke properly with a gigantic snort as his nose tingled unpleasantly. He blinked. "Did you just slap me?"

"Now tell me what you mean by saying you're already out of the seal when I can see you right here." Naruto demanded, ignoring Harry's question utterly.

Harry pushed the blond off his chest and rolled over into a more upright position. He yawned, exposing an impressive collection of sharp gleaming teeth.

"I can be in two places at once to a certain extent. I suppose it's a little like your shadow clone. I can only be awake in one place at a time though. Right now, I have another version of myself asleep in somewhat precarious position although there is nothing more I can do to make it any safer. You probably could though, if you felt like it."

Naruto stared at him in disbelief before sitting abruptly on Harry's right hand.

"You are partially out of the seal?"

"Yes." Harry said cautiously, head tilting to one side. (All the better to stare at the brat, of course.)

"Why haven't you gone on a destructive rampage yet? And what do you mean by saying you are in a precarious spot- how could anything be dangerous to a giant man eating fox?"

"I'm sane now. I do not go on destructive rampages. That's really all there is to that. Well, and the fact that my other self is not a giant man eating fox. I don't eat humans anyway- it's almost cannibalism really."

"What are you then?"

"A human baby."

"**What!"**

_Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays if you prefer that. Hope you enjoy. Looking forward to hearing what everyone thinks of this chapter. Thanks for reviewing to:__ The Lazy __Princess, __ellesra__ (I know know to fix that and I'll get to that soon. Thanks for bringing it up.), __Janelly Slytherin__, __JohnnyLove__, __Dovakiin4578__ and the anonymous Guest. I appreciate hearing from you all._


	5. Chapter 5: Revealing His Parentage

_Declaimer: This is fan fiction. That means I possibly own the plot and nothing else. That means I do not own Harry and Co nor Naruto and his world._

_Unrevised and Unbeta'ed; anyone want to beta?_

1/8/13, 1/29/13

Juubi Extraordinaire: Chapter Five- Revealing What Naruto Should Really Have known about his Beloved and Best Friend, for all that they are abusive and traitorous respectively.

"A human baby, Naruto, do pay attention." Harry said with mock aggravation. It was hilarious to watch his brat inflate like an offended puffer fish - he even made a fishlike face with his gaping jaw jogging up and down as he tried to speak.

As several minutes passed and Naruto still was not capable of speaking Harry decided to intervene. He poked the boy with a finger equipped with a sharp claw. Naruto swayed. Poke. Poke.

"Naruto?"

"Kuubi?" Naruto asked rather dazed. "Did you really just say that you are partly a baby now?"

Harry sat up proudly, "Yes."

"How..."

Harry poked him again, "Well, when a man and a woman are really frustrated they," he started teasingly then was interrupted.

"Kuubi! I know how babies are made, how did _you_ become human?"

Harry became more serious. "Naruto, do you know much about this seal?"

Naruto scowled, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I want to know what you know about the seal so I know how much I need to explain to have you understand the flaws in it."

"Flaws?!"

"Yes, Naruto. Humans made the seal and like anything else made by humans it is not one hundred percent perfect. While the flaws would not normally be something that could be exploited by the sealed being, I am not the average sealed being. Now, tell me what you know."

Naruto scowled up at him but started speaking. Harry leaned towards him a little, cocking his ears forward.

"Well, it's made to keep a demon sealed in a human. This particular seal keeps you from messing up my mind and lets me use your chakra if I'm angry enough. It constantly sends a bit of your chakra into me, but just a little. It also connects us - if I die so do you. I know a bit about making the seal but that's the important parts."

"I hadn't realized it was meant to kill me if you die… Anyhow, there's one main reason I can get out. It was made to keep a demon contained and I am not a demon. For that matter I'm not really a fox either…" Harry trailed off with a thoughtful hum.

"What do you mean, not a demon! Of course you're a demon, you have supernatural powers, you kill people for fun, and basically you're just a fuzzy, fox shaped piece of evil!"

Harry scowled down at the rude brat and snarled. Naruto was all but calling him the second coming of Voldemort, conveniently wrapped in a ten story tall fuzzy package. Or was it not so convenient? A ten story anything was generally not very practical…

He shook his head and growled. Time to clear up some misconceptions.

"One, Naruto, I do not kill people for fun. I am actually very much against the sort that kill for fun. I have spent less than a full month conscious of the entire time period I have existed- whatever I have done during that time was not truly done by me! I am certainly not evil."

"Then what in the world are you! I've got no reason to trust you to tell me the truth unless your life depends on it and even then you aren't' interested in telling me the entirety of what I should know."

"My life probably does depend on you right now. Believe that!"

Naruto stared at him; eyes narrowed in distrust and suppressed anger. "How?"

"I told you I have become a human baby. I'm even more helpless than that though- my human body hasn't even been born yet."

"And?"

"And my mother is an abusive drunkard and my father is a homicidal idiot! If you don't help me then if I survive to be born I will be suffering from severe physical impairments that will cripple me for the rest of my life! I don't know anything for sure about what could go wrong with a baby exposed to alcohol but I've heard it involves brain damage."

Naruto shuddered. He'd met a handful of ninja that had survived severe head trauma- they weren't the same people they'd been before. One of them couldn't even live by himself anymore. "What can I do?"

For once Harry was glad that Naruto suffered from a hero complex even worse than his. He'd had opportunity these last few… years? Months? To observe the guy and found Naruto was one of the best people he could possibly ask for help from. Chances were he wouldn't even ask for much in return.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. You're the one who lives in your village. You know what you can and cannot do. What I'm going to do is give you some information and ask you to keep a baby alive despite his less than dependable parents. And if you could help me keep an eye out for a couple of others?"

"What do you mean by others, fox?"

Harry stood up and Naruto leapt away. He stared incredulously at the jumpy ninja before turning away to pace. "While I was working out a way to get free I had to try a couple things to see what would happen. The result is that two children of people that you know are currently in possession of some of my chakra and are capable of producing their own demonic chakra now. To an extent they are sort of my children… And I can't do anything for them except give them my attention every now an again. I can't even lend them any of my chakra because the amount they have right now is already nearly enough to kill the poor kids."

Naruto shook his head, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with that anytime soon. "Do they need action now?"

Harry managed a smile and shook his head. "Thankfully they ended up with good parents and seem to be doing well to me."

"Who, then, are you?"

Harry sat an affixed Naruto with his grimmest gimlet eye. He wasn't quite sure how to put this. Naruto had such faith in the goodness of the dyed pink girl and the inherent decency in his male teammate. Could he find a way to put it that made it seem like he wasn't insulting two of the people the blonde cared for most in the world? Hmmm, no. Well, better get on with it. "I was rather stupid when I saw a chance to get out of here- I jumped for it without thinking of the consequences that I would be landing in. Among other things, my parents are both rather strong ninja. My mother is on the verge of becoming an alcoholic with the stress of dealing with my father and her duties to the village. My father is worse. He has betrayed the village before and hasn't really repented. To the best of my knowledge he just doesn't have sufficient reasons at this point to do it again."

"Kohnoha doesn't have any traitors!" Naruto stated with all the strength of practiced conviction.

Harry leaned over until his nose poked the delusional dude. "There are traitors in every group. Even just two people with have split loyalties. The question is the degree of disloyalty. How far will the other loyalties force them to act? Just talking can be an act of treachery if the wrong thing gets out on accident. My father did far worse than just talk. He left the village and nearly killed you. I am the only reason you survived him the first time you really fought."

"Sasuke is your father!?" Naruto yelped.

"Yes."

He was nearly jumping up in down trying to find a reason why the nine-tailed fox could not be an Uchiha. He pointed at the fox and demanded, "Who is your mother, then?"

Harry winced back, how could Naruto not know? Sakura and Sasuke lived in the same house, slept in the same bed and had for some time under the conditions of Sasuke's parole. He sighed, this likely would be rather nasty.

"Well, I guess Sasuke can't be your daddy then, fox, if you don't have a mother."

Harry squinted at Naruto. "My mother is Sakura Haruno, the girl whose been sleeping with Sasuke for some time now. You know what was in Sasuke's requirements for keeping his life. You are working directly with the head ninja lady to learn the ropes for when she retires. You signed off on that yourself.

Naruto looked appalled. "Sakura is sleeping with him that way!? Nooo, why Sakura?" He mourned to the ceiling.

"You sound like caterpillar face junior." With that delightful insult Harry shoved the blonde out of his mental landscape with a burst of chakra and magic.

_Approximately 1,500 more words covering five pages. I hope you enjoyed it. Now as to whom Harry's chakra heirs are… Does anyone have favorite pairings in the Naruto world that do not include Naruto, Susuke and Sakura? I, in all frankness, have no idea who they should be the kids of._


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